This Is What Brian Wanted You All To Know

Brian hated dying so young. He felt like there were things he still wanted and needed to do. He had friends he loved that don’t know Christ and he was praying for them and waiting for the time the Spirit would prompt him to share. There were people he was concerned for that he hadn’t had the opportunity to share with, or at least not as much as he wanted to share. Brian and I both prayed that God would transform Brian's death from a curse to a blessing by using it to reach people Brian loved who might never have come to a relationship with God if Brian had been granted a normal life span. That is why Brian prepared a slide show for his own memorial months before he died. Many of you received a DVD of it when you attended Brian's Memorial Service a year ago. (To see that presentation again, click on the link under the blog title.) Some of you may have not really understood how badly Brian wanted you to consider the message. For more than a month I have been prayerfully composing what I feel Brian wanted each one of you to know. If I have notified you of this blog, it means that Brian loved you and wanted to share this with you. Even if it makes you uncomfortable, please read it and ask God to show you the truth.

This is What Brian Believed

God is pure goodness, love, and light! God loves us and wants us to be in relationship with Him, but the wrong things we do separate us from Him. Separation from God is painful and would leave us lost, isolated, and spiritually dead forever, if God had not provided a way for us to be rescued. God loves us so much that He sent His son, Jesus, to die on the cross and pay the price for every single wrong thing we have ever done or thought. Because Jesus is one with God, death could not hold Him. He rose from the grave and rules in Heaven with God. God will not force any of us to be in relationship with Him, but he freely offers eternal life in Heaven to each one of us who believes in Jesus. The only thing you have to do is accept His forgiveness and His offer of an eternal relationship with Him.

Brian’s one wish as he faced death was that he would be reunited with every person he knew in eternity in Heaven. He created his own memorial presentation so that he could share this with as many people as he could.

While growing up Brian was told that people needed to follow many rules in order to please God. Brian felt frustrated and believed that nothing he did was good enough to earn God’s acceptance. He spent his childhood not understanding that he didn’t need to do a single thing to earn God’s love and acceptance.

In the slide show Brian prepared, he used songs written by Kerry Livgren, of Kansas, chronicling his own search for God. Brian identified strongly with the lyrics and loved the music. He chose “The Wall” to accompany the pictures of that early part of his life. As the lyrics in the song describe, Brian felt isolated, lost, and unloved.

When Brian was nineteen years old, he spent some time studying the Bible and realized that if Jesus returned for him, he wouldn’t be ready. He also came to understand that he didn’t have to do anything to earn God’s forgiveness, other than being willing to receive it. Although Brian now had a relationship with God, he was wary of church people. He feared not meeting their expectations and being judged negatively by them.

Brian chose the lyrics to “Carry On My Wayward Son” to accompany the pictures of the next part of his life. No longer living under the tight control that felt so oppressive to him as a child, he now began to discover who God had created him to be. He became a husband, and father, and a successful computer programmer. He loved to laugh, and make others laugh. One of the things I miss most about him is that he made me laugh every day! He discovered he had a talent and enjoyment in performing musical theatre. He treasured time spent delighting in God’s creation. He especially loved spending time in the mountains and at the ocean.

Approaching mid-life Brian finally found a church family where he knew he was accepted and loved. Through this experience God’s love and acceptance became more real and deeply felt by Brian than he had ever experienced before. This led to an increased sense of peace and love for others.

A short time later Brian was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer. He uses the Kansas song “On the Other Side” for this part of his life. He chose the words he wrote carefully, not wanting anyone to feel negatively judged by his message, but wanting every person who saw his slide show to understand the good news that we can experience God’s love and can know for sure that we will spend eternity with Him in Heaven, if we only choose to believe in Jesus. The thing Brian did not want was for any person who saw his slide show to watch it and still choose eternal separation from God.