Wow!

Strangest thing today, for the last week or so I've been praying that God would work in my life in a significant way.  Yesterday I slept 16 hours.  Today I feel alive in a way that I haven't felt since Brian died.  I've been listening to worship music as I work around the house -- also something I haven't bothered to do in the last couple of years.  I feel joy and sorrow.  I've been smiling and crying!  I don't just believe that God loves me and has a plan for the rest of my life, I actually feel it and feel moved to tears of gratitude that He loves me and has not abandoned me.   I feel like God is healing me.  For the first time in so long I feel emotions, both sadness and joy, but I don't feel the weight of depression crushing me!  I feel blessed!