Brian,
I lost you a year ago today. I don’t know how that much time can have passed so quickly. I haven’t gotten used to you being gone. A few days ago, as I often do, I dreamed you were with me. You felt you should let our friends and family know that you aren’t really dead. In the dream we were both kind of mystified because the cancer seemed to have disappeared or gone away. We had both known you were going to die, but then you didn’t. When I thought about it though, I told you, “Don’t tell them that, because sometimes you are really dead.”
Dreams are strange, but I think I have these dreams because I am grappling with two truths. You are gone from this life, and you aren’t going to return to me here. Yet you are in Heaven and more alive than you ever were before! The cancer is gone, and you are not really dead. You will not return to me, but I will some day come to you.
I love you so much, Brian! Thank you for the life you shared with me. I so look forward to the eternity we will share together.
All my love,
Laurie
Ah, Mom, I wish I blessed with dreams like yours, although I know they must be terrible to wake up from. In all of mine, he is still sick, or we are at his funeral but he is there, well, but he has to say goodbye. I miss him so much, and sometimes I still can not believe this has happened to our family. I love you Mom.
ReplyDeleteWow, Laurie! That is so beautiful! Very eloquent and genuine!
ReplyDeleteHard to believe a year has passed since we lost your wonderful husband. I imagine he has the community theater circuit up in heaven turned on it's head by now, huh? Hope you and the girls are doing fine!
ReplyDeleteThank you Brianna, Libby, and Rob! Rob, I do think Brian is probably having a great time singing in heaven! He was always a pleasure to listen to, but I think that now his voice is perfected and his range is such that he can sing whatever he wants. He is probably enjoying hitting those high parts that he couldn't do before! : ) The girls and I are doing well. How are you and Liann?
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